All Maine Matters

April 2006



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The Token Conservative: Watermelon Pesticide Needed
By Jon Reisman

The environmental left, sometimes known as the watermelon caucus (green on the outside, red on the inside), is in serious need of some accountability. Since our Governor, U.S. Senators and Congresscritters are clearly either unwilling or unable to call Big Green to account for their repeated sins and crimes against humanity, I guess it’s up to the token conservative.

The environmental left includes the Natural Resources Council of Maine, Maine Audubon, the Nature Conservancy, the Sierra Club, the League of Conservation Voters, the Land for Maine’s Future Bureaucrats, Friends of Acadia, Maine Rivers, the Conservation Law Foundation, most land trusts, Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility, RESTORE the North Woods, Trout Unlimited, Senators Collins, Snowe, McCain and Chafee, Representatives Allen and Michaud and the Maine Stream Media. Governor Baldacci might as well be a member- he made Bath Nagusky, a card-carrying watermelon caucus member, his czarina of energy and global warming policy. Even if a pol isn’t a true believer, they are so afraid of environmental political jihad that very few are willing to cross Brownie Carson (head green shaman of the NRCM), much less hold the watermelon caucus to account for their repeated transgressions to Maine’s economy, culture and people.

Over the Ides of March, Mainers were dismayed to hear of yet another manufacturer (the GP mill in Old Town) closing shop. Huge headlines in the Maine Stream Media announced the bad news. The Baldacci Daily News even pinpointed the major cause: Maine has the highest energy prices in New England. Unfortunately, the media failed to point out why our energy prices are high and going higher. The reason: 25 years of energy policies directed by the environmental left… and with global warming initiatives that Gov. Baldacci has pushed for the watermelons, we can expect more of the same- including a steadfast refusal to lay the blame where it properly belongs: the watermelon caucus. Send a watermelon seed along with your next power bill.

Prior to the meltdown of the Old Town area economy, Mainers were treated to a series of sermons from the environmental left on how moral and righteous they and their cause are.

A number of liberal churches have trumpeted their moral concerns about global warming, with the not so subtle implication that anyone who doesn’t agree with their statist fearmongering is immoral. How convenient for the watermelon caucus. George Bush and conservatives have been pursuing environmental policies based on sound science, capitalism and facts rather than religion, socialism and fear. But don’t listen to them or look at the facts… just trust us because we’re good and moral, and they’re not.

The watermelons plumbed new depths when they attacked two members of the Natural Resources Committee, Representatives Tom Saviello and Bob Daigle. Saviello and Daigle are both environmental professionals who had led a moderate bi-partisan coalition which was moving Maine away from watermelon caucus. The left could not allow that, and both legislators were attacked with spurious ethics and political allegations.

I shouldn’t have been surprised. Five years ago the same folks attacked me because I had the temerity to suggest publicly that the environmental left should be held accountable for the damage the Atlantic salmon listing would (and did) do to Washington County. For the record, I compared the listing to a rape, and shared my conviction that rapists should be executed. That exercise of free speech earned me a hate speech warning from the lead environment legal eagle in the AG’s office, a public whipping on statewide public radio, and a letter from the NRCM to the Governor urging that my views on environmental policy be banned from the public square.

The upcoming gubernatorial race, and particularly the GOP primary, offers a wonderful opportunity to bring some accountability to Maine’s greenies at last. I’d love to hear Chandler Woodcock, Dave Emery and/or Peter Mills tell Governor Baldacci and Pat LaMarche: “Pat, John… you’ve got some ‘splaining to do.” The GOP candidate with the cojones and determination to call the watermelon caucus to account will get my vote.

Jon Reisman eats greens for lunch. He can be contacted at

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